Memories of Noel: The Darkness and the Light

Alex Quote

Sometimes God does things we don’t understand.  Sometimes we go through something so hard that it feels like the next breath will shatter all that we are.  Yet, He’s always with us.  Even in the darkest of moments, He is there.

If you’ve been following my blog at all, you will know of Noel’s story.  Of the miracle of her life.  If you don’t know Noel’s story, please click here and read what I’m talking about.

Noel's Slideshow

I’ve been honoured to share Caleb and Alex’s journey through all this.  I spent months praying for little Noel as her due date approached, I’ve rejoiced with them as she defied all odds and they brought her home, I remember well the tears I cried as they asked for desperate prayer a short time before she went home and then in the days that followed.  My family still prays for this wonderful, godly couple with each new day.

I am so grateful that, of all my blog posts, Noel’s story is the one that is visited the most often.  If I get a day where Noel’s story hasn’t been viewed at least once, that’s a rare day.  This story of God’s mercy, love and strength is still reaching out to people around the world.  To God be the glory as He continues to move through this amazing little girl and her wonderful parents.

As we remember Noel’s arrival into the Father’s arms, I wanted to chat with Caleb and Alex about this journey that they have been on.  They have been, from the beginning, so honest and open with everything.  I wanted to give my readers, those still visiting Noel’s story, a look into the lives of this amazing couple.

If you’ve been through the loss of a child, some of the questions and answers may bring back memories of your own.  Caleb and Alex have been honest about their struggles and triumphs and I know that you will be kind as they answer some very tough questions.  🙂

Thank you Caleb and Alex for being willing to join me and discuss this past year and all that it involved.  I continue to be amazed and inspired with how you walked this journey.  I can’t imagine how difficult this has been and I’m honoured that you will let me share your thoughts and feelings for those who have been following and for those that may walk a similar road in the future.

Thank you both, for being willing to chat with me about your precious daughter and how your lives have changed.  First of all, can you tell me a little about your journey in the past year? Emotionally and spiritually?

Alex: Wow! That is truly a loaded question. Emotionally right after we lost Noel I was a complete and total wreck. I was depressed, suicidal, and hopeless. Depression hit me hard. I have never been depressed before, but now I understand why some people commit suicide. I understand how hopeless and alone and lost depression makes you. I tell Caleb, it’s so hard, what we’re going through is so hard, and we have Jesus, I still have hope, yet thoughts of suicide still run through my mind. There are people out there who don’t know the hope that I have. And that is a scary and real thing to realize. I was so attacked by the enemy; suicide was not a distant thought. I thought it day and night for months. I clung on to the little hope that I did have in the Lord. I honestly believe if I didn’t have Jesus, I would’ve killed myself. I remember thinking that every day. I remember telling the enemy, no I’m not going to kill myself, I won’t do it because that’s what you want and everything will go in vain. Spiritually I was so mad at God. I remember telling Him all the time that I was so mad and disappointed in Him. It was in those moments that I would feel His arms wrap around me and tell me He knew what he was doing. I felt Him say it was ok that I was mad and disappointed, but I couldn’t lose my trust in Him, my faith in Him, my hope in Him. So that’s exactly what I did. I would sob each day, tell Him how hurt I was, and each day He would reassure me that everything I was feeling was normal and that tears were medicine.

Caleb: It has been a hard year. This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. Our marriage was on the rocks for a time and we have had many emotional nights and many tears we have cried. We have had to rely on God to get us through this.

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How has your world changed in the past year?

Alex: I turned 24 right before Caleb and I got married, I got pregnant 3 weeks after, we had Noel 39 weeks later, lost Noel after 15 days with her, and 13 days later I turned 25. Who would’ve thought in one year your world could turn completely upside down. You see things differently, feel things differently, and live life differently. You learn to cherish moments you wouldn’t have cherished before and try to not take anything for granted. The Lord has showed me that beauty really does come from ashes.

Caleb: I view people with special needs in a whole new light. Any time I see a person with special needs I immediately think of Noel because that’s what she would have been. I used to think about parents that had children with special needs and wondered if it was hard having a child like that. Now that I have had a daughter like that I realized it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter the disabilities they have, if they would have to live with you their whole life, if it would be expensive, if it would be a difficult emotional journey etc. You would do whatever you needed to do because you love them so much. I also see having a baby in a whole new light. Many people take having a baby for granted. Like that’s just something you do. It’s a part of life. But for us it isn’t. Chances are we will never be able to have a healthy baby of our own.  One of the things I feel God has been teaching me through all this to be thankful. So often I think about other people and how easy it is for them to have healthy babies and I think why couldn’t we have that? But God has been showing me that I need to be thankful for what I do have. I can walk, I can see, I live in a developed country with clean water and food. He has been showing me that I need to appreciate and be thankful for all that I do have. It can be hard sometimes but really try and see all the blessings he has given me because there are so many!

Your marriage was still very new when you found out you were expecting Noel, how do you both feel Noel’s life affected your marriage?

Alex: It was extremely new! Her life was my biggest blessing. She did things others couldn’t have and shined Jesus brighter than I’ve ever seen anyone shine Jesus. I wouldn’t change having her for one second. Did you know the divorce rate for couples that have lost a child goes up to 90%?!?! I’m not going to lie, losing a child is extremely hard on a marriage. I am blessed to have a husband who will fight for me and stand by my side no matter what. There were times I was ready to get divorced and Caleb would sit there and say no. He fought for us every single day. Everybody handles grief differently. Losing Noel didn’t hit Caleb has hard as it hit me, and that’s ok. I had to come to a place and understand that I carried her and he didn’t. I had a connection and love for her that he didn’t, a mother’s love. That was hard to understand. Would I go through having her again, absolutely! Would I want to handle my grief differently, of course. I believe it was by the grace of God that our marriage is where it is now. I’ve never been or felt more in love than I do today. I married an exceptional man of God.

Caleb: It affected our marriage tremendously! For a while our marriage was really struggling. The number of fights we had and tears we cried I feel like were in the millions. There was a long time that I did not know if we were going to stay together or not. It was EXTREMELY difficult. But we have made it through and I think our marriage is stronger because of it. I feel like if we made it through this we can make it through anything!

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Throughout all the tears and all the struggles, did you get support from unexpected sources?

Alex: Yes! A Thousand trillion billion times yes! I once read a blog and it said that it’s extremely hard for people who are grieving to reach out to others, and I completely agree. When someone would text me to let them know if I needed anything, I thought, I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I learned that I want to be a good support system for others who are going through a similar situation, God really convicted me. I honestly think it’s really hard for people to be sensitive, or somewhat understand, if they haven’t been through what you’ve been through. That‘s also something I’ve learned… to be more sensitive, I want to be more sensitive. Now when I hear of someone going through a situation that was close to ours I go home and cry and have Caleb hold me. I pray for them A LOT.

Caleb: The support we got from the members of our church was unbelievable. When Noel was here someone was at our house everyday bringing us food. Not only that our whole church family was standing with us and praying for us and Noel. What is just as amazing is the prayer and support we were getting from everyone all over the world! There were people praying for us that we have never even met! Alex and I were in awe of the amount of people praying for us. We felt so loved and honored to be prayed for and thought of as much as we were. People were praying for us from all over the world!  Also, when my family set up the donation fund we got donations from dozens of people! Some from my work, family, and friends of ours. We even got donations from people we had never met! I could not believe how giving people were! I even got a card and donation from two former students of mine that I thought weren’t very fond of me. But they both had recently had children and our situation must have hit home for them. Even now just thinking about all of it, I cannot believe how many people supported us

It was such a joy to watch the support pour in.  Even on the blogs I did, there were people reaching out with prayer and support!!  Were there any positive situations that arose that surprised you guys?

Alex: Oh gosh yes! People came to the Lord because of Noel. I mean two souls were saved because of one person. That’s amazing in my opinion. I’m honored to be called her mom. God is good, even in the darkness. To know that that was her purpose in life, well it leaves me speechless.

Caleb: The amount of people that Noel’s life touched is unbelievable. I had no idea how many lives she would touch. Her life went around the world. We heard many stories of how Noel touched their lives and I know there are many more that we will never know. Some people even came to Christ because of it. It is hard not having Noel here and it hurts. It hurts a lot. But knowing how much she has done for the kingdom of God makes it so much easier. She did more for the kingdom of God than I probably ever will.

What is your most favourite memory of your time with Noel? (If it’s even possible to pinpoint one or two)

Alex: I was just praying on the drive home that I would never forget the day we brought Noel home.  I love that day so much! We never thought we were going to bring her home. I remember praying so much that we would bring her home, and we did J I loved the day she was born. I loved having her on my chest and having her all to myself. I absolutely loved being pregnant! I tell Caleb all the time that I miss it so much. I miss being uncomfortable and peeing every 2 minutes, and feeling her kick my ribs, and not being able to sleep at night. I miss it so much! The Lord really showed me that I NEEDED to enjoy this because there are hundreds of women out there who will never experience this. I was so honored that the Lord would allow me to experience feeling Noel and I really embraced it. I had a choice, I could either sit there and complain about the miracle that was happening inside of me, or enjoy every second I had with her. I mean, those nine months were the longest time I had with her.

Caleb: I don’t have one favorite memory of Noel. I love them all! I loved holding her, I loved her smell. I even loved changing her diaper! I thought I would hate changing her diaper! Because seriously!?! Who likes to change a baby’s poopy diaper?!? I didn’t think I would but I did. Because it was Noel’s diaper. It was my beautiful daughter’s diaper.

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Despite all the joy and peace that you have been able to find, what do you still struggle with?

Alex: Depression. I still have more bad days than good and still cry most days than not. But I’m more ok with not being ok all the time. I know I’m not going to feel this way the rest of my life but the Lord has assured me that crying is perfectly ok. I don’t let it consume me like before and I know that no amount of time will heal me, but through the Lord and his unfailing love I will be more than ok one day.

Caleb: It can still be hard to see babies and women who are pregnant. Whenever I do I think of Noel. It can still be quite difficult for me.

Do you struggle with anger at other parents? With the Lord?

Alex: I don’t think I ever really felt angry toward other parents. I feel sad, because I miss Noel. I would get irritated when women would complain about their pregnancy or when parents would complain about their late nights and no sleep. Because still, I would give anything to have late nights and no sleep if that meant Noel was still here.

Caleb: I was never angry at other parents. But I do think they often take having children for granted.  Like it’s just part of life. I wish they could all truly appreciate what a beautiful gift they have. I was never that angry at God. A little at times but not much because he so amazing and I know he loved Noel even more than Alex and I did. And he loves us and hurts when we hurt. So he was hurting even more than we were through all of this.

It’s a very good reminder to me to never take a day with my kids for granted.  We were amazed at how you handled Noel’s health and her homecoming, who do you attribute your strength to?

Alex: The Lord. All the glory goes to God. My flesh failed a LONG time ago. To this day it is because of His strength that I can get out of bed in the morning.

Caleb: My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is Lord of my life and the one I turned to through all of this.  Without him I don’t know where I would be!

If you knew that this was how Noel’s life was going to unfold, would you do it all over again?  (I don’t even need to ask but I love the answers!)

Alex: Yes, yes, yes, yes! She was and is worth every tear, every piece of my broken heart, and worth more than I can even fathom. Psalm 139 is real to me now.

Caleb: ABSOLUTELY! I would do it over again a million times if it meant I got to meet her and hold her.  She is one of the biggest blessings in my life. I am so glad we had her and got to meet her even despite everything that happened and we had to go through.

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What does the future hold for you in starting a family? Will you be considering adoption?

Alex: I’m still healing so I haven’t thought about that yet.

Caleb: We probably will adopt. Before everything happened it was on our hearts to adopt. We wanted to adopt internationally in the less fortunate countries because those are the kids that do not have an opportunity and need help. They often end up dead, as prostitutes, or in another unfortunate life.  But it is hard to say when or how we will do that. We are both still healing and are not ready for more children. And ultimately we want God’s will. Whatever that may be.

Is there any advice you could give to other families that are going through similar situations?

Alex: First, I would cry, because I know exactly what they are going through. Second, I would ask to pray with them. I know I couldn’t do it without the Lord and would want them to have the same hope that I have.

Caleb: Lean on God. It’s not an easy road at all but leaning on him makes it more bearable.

Let’s end this conversation with some wonderful news!  I’ve heard that there is a fantastic bursary that has decided to pay tribute to Noel, can you tell us a bit about it?

Alex: Of course! Tara, she’s one of the directors for Youth for Christ, a school lunch time club that teaches about Christ. She was in awe of how Noel defied all odds and thought her story fit perfectly with students who go away to university. Most kids who attend university out of state/town usually fall away from the Lord. The scholarship is supposed to encourage students to stand firm in the Lord and hang onto His truth. And I know that’s exactly what Noel did.

Caleb: We feel so blessed to have this scholarship named after Noel. When Tara said she wanted to speak with us we had no idea what it was about. She started telling us about this scholarship and neither of us had any idea what that had to do with us. We actually thought she was going to give it to us! We were both thinking, we don’t want the scholarship give it to someone else! Once Tara told us she wanted to name it after Noel we both felt EXTREMELY honoured and just started crying. It is just another instance of the impact she has had.

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Thank you, Caleb and Alex for having this conversation with me.  I appreciate your honesty so much and your willingness to let me share your journey.  You are both amazing and I am honoured to know you and see how God is moving in your lives.

Here are the other posts for Noel:
Noel at home

Happy One Week Birthday Noel

Blessings

Two Week Update

Urgent Update

Sorrow and Comfort

Until We Meet Again

Memories of Noel: The Darkness and the Light

 

Sarah

 

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Noel’s Homecoming Service

Noel's Service

For those of you who weren’t able to view the live feed of Noel’s Homecoming Service on Thursday, you can click on the image above to view it.  Noel’s Uncle Mark edited it together for us.  There was some cost involved to get it live streamed for us so, if you are willing, please leave a tip on the page.

Thank you again to all of you who have been praying for Caleb and Alex at this difficult time, and for all your prayers for Noel as she spend a wonderful fifteen days with her family.  Caleb and Alex would like to thank you all for your prayers, so click here to see the message.

Caleb and Alex

I hope that you will continue to join with me in praying for them as they adjust to life.  Please keep sharing Noel’s story.  God has blessed us all as we watched this beautiful little girl have fifteen more days with her family than the doctors said was possible.  We serve a mighty God and so many can still be touched by Noel’s amazing story.  You can click on the picture of Noel below to see the sideshow from the homecoming service.  I love the video of all the prayer warriors in the hospital room.  I always cry.  I adore her little smile at the end too!

Noel's Slideshow

Thank you again for praying with us.  I am amazed at the outpouring of concern, prayers and love. Not only has little Noel touched my heart, but so have all of you with your thoughtfulness for my friends.

Caleb and Alex fund.

Here are the other posts for Noel:
Noel at home

Happy One Week Birthday Noel

Blessings

Two Week Update

Urgent Update

Sorrow and Comfort

Until We Meet Again

Memories of Noel: The Darkness and the Light

 

With gratitude,

Sarah

Until We Meet Again Noel

Dear friends,

thank you for your outpouring of prayer and support for Caleb and Alex.  They feel it all.  Thank you for sharing Noel’s story all over the world.  I am amazed at how many countries have been, and are, being touched by Noel’s life!

NoelSmile

There are many of you mourning with Caleb and Alex and they have been kind enough to work out a way for everyone to be present at her homecoming service, if you so chose.  If you would like to view the homecoming service, it is happening tomorrow (Thursday) morning at 10:00 am MDT.  You can click on the grey link below and the video will begin as soon as the page is loaded beginning at 10:00am.  You do not need to log in to view the live feed.  If you cannot be there for the live feed, there will be a YouTube posting after the service.  (I will link the YouTube video as soon as it is available.)

Homecoming Service Link

Please continue to pray for Caleb, Alex and all those who love Noel as they say goodbye for now.  I join with them joyfully in the knowledge that we will see precious Noel again.  Thank you Lord!

‘Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.’ ~ Hebrews 10:23

‘Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.’ ~ Hebrews 11:1

Please feel free to continue to leave prayers and messages for Caleb and Alex.  

Also, please consider making a donation to Noel’s medical (and funeral) costs by clicking the green link below.

Caleb and Alex fund.

A year after Noel went home, I ask Caleb and Alex some questions about the journey… here are their answers!

This is a wonderful song that I find so encouraging.  I love the lyrics.

Here are the other posts for Noel:
Noel at home

Happy One Week Birthday Noel

Blessings

Two Week Update

Urgent Update

Sorrow and Comfort

Until We Meet Again

Memories of Noel: The Darkness and the Light

 

Blessings, Sarah

Sorrow and Comfort: Noel Update

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As I write this, there are tears on my cheeks and an ache in my heart for Caleb and Alex.  This is the update that I was hoping not to have to write.  Yet… here it is.

Noel’s uncle said it beautifully a few hours ago:

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21b)

About an hour ago, little Noel started having more serious breathing issues. About 15 minuets ago, the Lord, in his wisdom, took Noel from us. There are many emotions that cannot be adequately expressed in a short post like this. I know that we are all deeply saddened and mournful over this loss but we can also be grateful that the Lord allowed us to be with His little princess for so much longer than anyone ever expected. We rejoice in the answer to prayer that she has been, in the testimony that she has given, in the way she has brought others to see God’s love and come to know Him, and most importantly in how she has brought Glory to the King.

We will miss you little Noel Sattelmeier but we take comfort knowing you are in the Lord’s hands.”

As I look back on the days Noel was here, I can’t help but be amazed at the lives she touched.  Thousands visited my blog and cared about her.  Thousands saw the miracle that God had worked in her life.  God has reached across the world with her face, her heart… her story.  What a beautiful legacy.

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I fell in love with her before she drew her first breath and grew even more in love with those dark eyes and beautiful face with each picture.  She touched my heart.

Noel,

I never got to meet you in person but you are so dear to me.  I treasured getting to know you through pictures and through your families updates.  I’m happy that you are in the arms of our Saviour though I know that there are arms down here aching for you.  I can’t wait for the day I get to see you face to face.  Where ‘He will wipe every tear from our eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain’.  On that day, precious girl, I will give you the biggest hug and rejoice with you.  I love you.

Please continue to pray for Caleb and Alex and family.

Thank you Jesus for two weeks with Noel.  For the cuddles, kisses and love that her family was able to share with her.  For each moment that they had with her.  Thank You for working this for good, even though we cannot see all that will come of this.  We look forward to the day that we meet those in heaven who were touched by her life.  Thank You for bringing comfort and peace to her family now.  Sear the memories into their minds and may those memories bring great joy to their hearts.  We pray that Noel’s life and story would still draw others to you.  May Caleb, Alex and their family continue to be a testament of faithfulness and  trust as they move forward in You.  Draw them closer to You and closer to each other.  Amen.

To everyone who is reading this and to those who have been following Noel’s story, thank you for your prayers and support.  We are so grateful, and hope that you will continue to pray for Noel’s family and for her life to continue to draw others to the Lord.

Please feel free to leave prayers and notes here for Caleb and Alex.  I will be sure to get them to the family.

Blessings, Sarah  (Matthew 5:4)

Here are the other posts for Noel:
Noel at home

Happy One Week Birthday Noel

Blessings

Two Week Update

Urgent Update

Sorrow and Comfort

Until We Meet Again

Memories of Noel: The Darkness and the Light

 

URGENT Noel Update!

I’ve just heard from Noel’s Grandmother and she’s asked for urgent prayer!

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Here’s the message:

Prayer warriors, we are needing prayer desperately for our Noel!!!!! We had to have the hospice nurse over to give her morphine for her air hunger. Her breathing is very labored and holds her breath now quite often. She is fighting for each little breath!! Please pray for Alex and Caleb also.

Please join us in praying for this beautiful family.

Father God, we pray now for little Noel!  God, please even out her breathing and bring calm and peace to her system.  Lord, we ask that your healing hand be on her little body.  You know what’s going on in her body, better even than any doctor.  Give Noel strength to fight through this.  Also, be with Caleb and Alex as they wait and pray.  Bring peace to the family and help them remember that You are sovereign.  We ask Lord that this be just a bump in the road towards a long and healthy life for this precious little girl!  Please God.  Amen.

Thank you for your prayers and your support.

Love, Sarah

Here are the other posts for Noel:
Noel at home

Happy One Week Birthday Noel

Blessings

Two Week Update

Urgent Update

Sorrow and Comfort

Until We Meet Again

Memories of Noel: The Darkness and the Light

Noel: Two week update!

Happy Two Week Birthday Noel!

Noelfamily1

Two weeks ago, God blessed Caleb and Alex with a beautiful baby girl.  The doctors had no hope for her… yet, here she is!!  You know why?

Because our God is a God of hope!!  There is always hope, because there is always God! 

He has proven himself over and over throughout history… and over and over in the life of this precious little girl.  One of Alex’s dearest friends, Jennifer, posted some beautiful thoughts on Noels name and I wanted to share it with you!

Noel WordsI watch as people visit my blog from all over the world and I know that this wonderful little girl is touching people everywhere.

Today Noel’s family is giving her an increase in formula as the nurse has advised.  Sadly, it won’t be cake or ice cream but it’s still a wonderful thing!!

Noel is too young to understand this, but we aren’t.  God… the God who placed the stars, He is using her in His plan.  I don’t know why it is under these circumstances but He is reaching out, through her, to so many.  Please continue to pray for healing and expect with me to see Him move mightily!!  Thank you again for all your prayers, are your thoughts and all that you have blessed this family with!  They are feeling your support and are so grateful!

We praise You, Lord, for these two weeks as Noel has grown!  What a blessing she is to her family and to us.  To watch You work in her life and see Your great power is so amazing.  We praise You for she is fearfully and wonderfully made!  You created her and You are sustaining her.  We trust in Your unfailing love and we know that You have a plan for Noels life.  A plan that we are watching unfold and a plan that is drawing myself and countless others closer to You.  We pray that You continue to work in her life and may she have many years with her family to come!  We pray for Your hand of healing to be on her.  Mend all of her, Father God.  Show the world Your power as so many eyes are on this little girl!  Be also with Caleb, Alex and those who are caring for her 24/7.  Please give them energy and wisdom!  Amen.

Noel26Seriously adorable!

Love, Sarah

Here are the other posts for Noel:
Noel at home

Happy One Week Birthday Noel

Blessings

Two Week Update

Urgent Update

Sorrow and Comfort

Until We Meet Again

Memories of Noel: The Darkness and the Light

 

Blessings: A Noel Update

Hello friends!  Welcome to the newest update on Noel and her family.

Noel19Noel22Noel has been having pretty good nights with usually only one fussy time.  It seems to be usually when it’s her Daddy’s turn to be with her.  Little girls and their Daddy’s!  It’s tough when she fusses as it makes it hard for her to breathe.  Still, she’s been doing well.  The health nurse visited yesterday and is really impressed with how Noel is doing.  Her respiration and heart rate are good!  Noel is also gaining weight!  She was down a bit on Friday but has gained nearly a pound!!  God is so good!

Noel20Since the hospital, Noel has been fed through a tube going into her stomach.  She eats at 7 am, 10, 1, 4 then 7pm.  It takes her an hour to eat 25 ml – that’s just over an ounce.  It’s been a slow process.  The nurse said yesterday that they can try giving her a bottle.  There was a lot of uncertainty as to how well she would do with trying to suck on the bottle.  Swallowing has also been a challenge for her too.  So, last night Noel got her first bottle…

Noel21And, she drank it like a champ!!  Actually, she drank it so fast that she freaked out her Grandma!  We are so very thankful that she took the bottle so well!  If this continues, she may be able to be weaned off the tube feeding.  Thank you God for this blessing!!  Noels family are grateful that she is doing so well but continue to ask for your prayers.  Without knowing what is going on inside of her body, there are still many questions left unanswered.

Noel family

Thank you for your prayers!  Every day we are seeing miracles with Noel.  We know that the Lord has a plan for her and believe that it will be a long life with her family.  We are still beseeching the Lord for total healing of Noel.  That He would make her heart whole, that He would join her cerebellum, and delete that extra chromosome 3.  Go Prayer Warriors!!  Please also keep Alex in mind as she heals from surgery!

I am so awed and amazed with what God is doing for Noel and her family!  To see the continuing miracles that He is bringing to her life!  I have been brought even closer to the Lord in worship and praise as I watch this miracle unfold and I am so excited to see what God has in store for Noel and her family!

We love all of you and are so grateful for all the prayers and support for Caleb, Alex and Noel!

Here are the other posts for Noel:
Noel at home

Happy One Week Birthday Noel

Blessings

Two Week Update

Urgent Update

Sorrow and Comfort

Until We Meet Again

Memories of Noel: The Darkness and the Light

Love, Sarah