I am weary. Weary to the very depths of my being.
Broken and broken hearted.
I am so tired of complacency. Unawareness. Dangerous unawareness.
I think that I am happy. I think things are good. I am complacent. I’ve allowed satan to slowly blind my eyes. To the point where I don’t see the issue. I don’t see the danger.
Then, because He is merciful, God tears away the blinders… and I see.
The mess. The horrible, devastating crippling disaster that I have allowed to happen right in front of me.
It brings me to my knees. How could I have let this happen? How could I have let satan, the ENEMY of my SOUL, get such an anchor in?
Shame, horror, pain and a grief so deep drive me to my knees. I see who I am. I see the rubble. The complete devastation of myself.
I see Him. Through a mirror dimly, but Him. The light of His glory. I see how I have no idea of the size and power of the King I have promised my all to.
The mess can be made clean. The destruction… restoration.
Not by me. Only by Him.
I am done with dangerous unawareness. I am no home for complacency.
The blinders are off and I will fight to keep them off.
Thank you, Lord. The revelation is painful, but I know You are with me in the clean-up. You faithful will remain.