Ignoring the Giver

I just heard this song for the first time the other day.  I don’t know about you, but some songs have the power to stop me in my tracks and sometimes it seems like I’ve even stopped breathing just to listen.  This song did, and continues to, as I listen and think on the words.

I see the work of Your Hands
Galaxies spin in a Heavenly dance, oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I hear the sound of Your Voice
All at once it’s a gentle and thundering noise, oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You
Captivated by Your beauty
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

Overwhelmed.  When I listen to this song, and quite a few others, I am just that.  I am overwhelmed at how deeply and completely lacking I am.

I am overwhelmed at the majesty of Him.  The deep and complete power and strength of Him.  The compassion, love, mercy and grace He shows me.  The reminder that I am worthy, because He said I am.  I don’t need to see the approval of man.  I don’t need to run in the ‘right circles’.  I don’t need to make the money the power players do.  I don’t need to be the focus of attention, be it in person or on social media.

Yet, I struggle.  I struggle to keep my focus on this magnificent God who has and is doing more for me than anything and anyone could ever do.

If you have followed this blog, or visited on occasion, you’ll know pretty quickly that I am a storm-enthusiast.  He’s given me an enthusiasm for all things storm after letting go of a 25 year fear.  I am so grateful for this.  As the dark clouds close in, I thank Him for the joy I take in them.

I have many storm chasing friends.  I’ve been blessed in making the connections I have.  Yet, I admit to making an idol of some of them.  My own stupidity.  I can look back and see how I’ve placed these very human people on a pestle because of what they do.  Not even for who they are.  Just for their job or hobby.  Sadly, relationships have changed because of my own inability to see them for who they are, beyond what they do.

I know this about myself and have been harmed by this way of thinking but I still see myself jumping at opportunities to be around them.  Not that hanging out with them is bad at all, but I feel like my priorities haven’t been where they should be.

It’s really disappointing.

I think nothing of passing off quiet time with my Father in lieu of blogging, finishing a movie, writing, reading.  Seemingly everything takes priority.  Prayer reserved for times of need. Relationship forgotten.

This is the same God that overwhelms me in the lyrics of a song, the creativity of a sunset, the majesty and power of a storm… and I can’t be bothered to continue developing a relationship with Him.

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One of my favourite places

The same God who gave me a passion for storms and has brought amazing people into my world to show me more about it… and I would rather develop those relationships than the One who put it all into motion.

I think it’s great to have friends.  I’m grateful for each and every one of them.  I think it’s great to want to spend time with my storm chaser friends, to encourage, to support, to learn from.  I need balance though.  I want balance.

I don’t want to ignore heaven and then find that heaven is ignoring me.

I don’t want to ignore the Gift-Giver and spend all my time on the gift.

I want my focus to be on the Creator and not on the created.

I believe that if my focus is there, that all the other relationships will fall into order.

~Sarah

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